Losing a loved one, of any kind, whether it is a friend or family member, is always difficult. The feeling of grief causes an emotional and physical pain that is hard to explain. I understand and have experienced this same feeling. When we lose someone we love, it is like we have a hole in ourselves, something is missing. As your Hermosa Beach therapist, I know that nothing is harder than dealing with the passing of a dear friend or close family member. The only way to deal with this loss is through conversation and time. There is no easy answer. Handling grief and loss is a process, and for some it is a longer process than others. Remember, I am always here for therapy in the South Bay; if you have lost a loved one, please call me and we can talk about it.
After the loss of a loved one, the first thing we can do is acknowledge how we feel about it. Of course, this all depends on the circumstances of loss and will be different for every person. In these situations, many people’s first response is to suppress or avoid their emotions because they feel uncomfortable or do not know how to deal with the passing of their loved one. In my opinion, this is exactly the wrong thing to do. Loss can manifest itself in sadness, anger, confusion, being overwhelmed, loneliness, resentment, regret, confusion, and so much more. The best thing you can do is to acknowledge your emotions, know they that are real feelings, and then talk about them.
When you lose or break something of sentimental value, you replace it, you buy a new thing. When you lose a loved one, you can’t find a replacement of that person. However, you can replace the time. You have the ability to fill your time with positive experiences, instead of feeling empty and lonely. I know that this is not always easy at first, but with time, it will become easier. Find a new hobby, a new passion, exercise more, take a painting class, try something new. These small activities to fill your time will become part of the grief and recovery process.
We can learn something from every loss we experience. Whether it’s trying to embody our lost loved one more in ourselves or becoming more positive in a negative world. I encourage you to look for something that you can take away from this experience. In the moment, it may not seem like it, but every loss will become a time of personal growth in your life. You can learn something from losing a friend or a family member, and you have the ability to see more positives in your life than negatives. If this seem like a difficult task, come and talk it through with me. Together, we will find a positive, growing experience.
This is the most difficult part of the grieving process, actually moving on without your loved one. This step is an individual experience. It never means that you will forget your loved one or that you do not carry them in your heart every day. It means that the grief and loss is no longer encompassing your daily thoughts and taking a toil on you physically and emotionally. At this point, you can appreciate everything that the deceased has given you, good or bad. You can see the positive aspects of their passing, and that they are in a better place now. If you feel as though you cannot move forward, please express this to me in therapy. As your South Bay therapist, know that I am here for every step of the grieving process.
Feel free to call or stop by my office to discuss the passing of your loved one. I want to be there for you. I know that this process can be long and hard. It is never easy to lose someone. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and talk through your emotions. This is what I am here for. Even when it seems like you cannot live a normal life without that person, we will find a way to move forward. Please call my Hermosa Beach office to schedule your next therapy session. Together, we will remember your loved one in the most positive light and get through the grieving process.