What Are The 5 Love Languages?
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, love is in the air. More important than any Valentine’s day present, however, is the way you express your love daily. In order to cultivate your love and relationships, it is important to understand the five love languages. The love languages are five ways to express and receive love in all relationships. As a couples counselor in the Hermosa Beach and South Bay area, my hope is to clearly define the different love languages and provide general examples of how to apply them in your relationship.
Words Of Affirmation
This love language prioritizes expressing love through words. If words of affirmation is one of your love languages, you greatly value compliments, kind words, or verbal statements of love. With all love languages, it is important to understand your individual partner. Not all of these examples will be applicable to your partner’s unique feelings and needs, but hopefully they can provide you with a general idea of words of affirmation:
- “I love you.”
- “I am so proud of you.”
- “I am so grateful to have you in my life.”
- “You look great in that outfit!”
- “I am so happy when I’m with you.”
Receiving Gifts
As the name suggests, this love language values receiving gifts. However, it is not about the materialistic aspect of gaining valuable items. Rather, someone who has this love language feels love and appreciation through someone taking the time and thought to give them a meaningful gift. Some examples of gifts may include the following:
- Surprising them with their favorite takeout for dinner.
- Knowing they love painting, so buying them a new set of brushed and paint.
- Sending flowers.
Quality Time
Quality time means more than just being together for five hours straight. In a relationship with someone whose love language is quality time, you should make an extra effort to provide undivided attention. It is important for them to feel that they are your priority, your main focus; this helps them to feel secure and loved in the relationship. Quality time can be made at any time and during any activity. Some examples of things that are especially hurtful to those who value quality time include:
- Being distracted during time together (on your phone, not engaged in conversation).
- Cancelling plans.
- Postponing time together.
Acts Of Service
“Actions speak louder than words.” If you’re in a relationship with someone who has this motto, acts of service may be their love language. Unlike gifts, acts of service is focused on someone giving their time and effort, rather than items, to you. Some examples of acts of service include the following:
- Cooking dinner.
- Cleaning the house.
- Picking up the kids.
- Letting the other sleep in.
Physical Touch
For someone whose love language is physical touch, physical displays of affection are required in order to feel comfortable in relationships. The physical touch of the partner has more value than gifts, words, or any other mode of expressing love. Some examples of physical touch include the following:
- Holding hands.
- Kissing.
- Cuddling.
- Massaging each other.
Visit Your Hermosa Beach Psychologist
Understanding your partner’s (and your own) love language is a crucial element in a couple’s successful relationship.However, in order to determine and then successfully “speak” this love language, we sometimes need a little help. I offer adult, and couples therapy to help people better nurture their relationships throughout the Hermosa Beach and South Bay area. Contact me; together, we can make every day feel like Valentine’s Day!