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Keeping The Spice In Your Relationship

Valentine’s Day is considered to be one of the most romantic days of the year. With the day of love just around the corner, I would like to offer a few tips on how you can keep the fire burning in your relationship, whether you have been married for several decades or are in the early stages of a committed relationship. It is not uncommon for the spark to fade from your relationship once you move out of the “honeymoon” phase, but you can bring back that strong and passionate connection by following these simple suggestions.


Enhance Your Bedroom

Since the bedroom is where you spend time alone with your partner, it sets the tone for your relationship. Therefore, it is important to take steps to make it not only aesthetically pleasing, but also a space that fosters closeness and intimacy. To start, make sure it is clean and uncluttered. You want the bedroom to feel like a sanctuary that cultivates instead of distracts from lovemaking. Adding a few nice touches, like a new bedspread, satin sheets or some sexy lighting, can often do the trick. If you have a TV in your bedroom, consider moving it to another room; we all know that those 100 channels can often provide you with 100 reasons to avoid being intimate. These small but doable changes can help make the bedroom a sacred space for you and your partner.


Send Your Love a Handwritten Note

Love letters never go out of style, even in the digital age. It is often easier to express how you feel through writing so get in the habit of writing your partner love notes now and then. Even if you don’t have pen and paper, just sending a spontaneous sweet email or sexy text message will make your partner feel special and loved!


Don’t Be So Predictable

They say that some of the healthiest relationships are those full of spontaneity and unpredictability. By doing things like surprising your partner with a romantic dinner or leaving a small love gift in a lunch box you will be able to keep unwanted staleness in your relationship at bay. It will also keep your partner wondering what other little surprises you have up your sleeve. A little mystery can truly go a long way towards keeping those romantic flames burning for years.


Have Regular Date Nights

If you have kids, it is really important that you and your partner spend some quality time alone now and then. Why not schedule a date night once a week so you two can catch a movie, or spend quality time together over a nice dinner out? When you make a deliberate effort to spend more one-on-one time together — away from kids, family, and work responsibilities — your relationship will become stronger and more passionate.


Cuddle More

Sometimes too much emphasis is placed on sex in a relationship. Instead of always having sex whenever you two get into bed, spend some of those quiet times cuddling and nuzzling up to your partner. Kissing, touching and “fooling around” can actually be just as intimate (and fun!) as having sex. So don’t miss out on the benefits of cuddling… cuddle away!


Tell Your Partner What They Mean to You

It always feels good to know that we are loved and an important part of our partner’s life. Knowing this, why not get in the habit of letting your partner know how you feel about them? Regularly telling your partner how much you love him or her and pointing out his or her positive traits that you love best, will go far in keeping the spice in your relationship. It’s that simple


About Dr. Kelly Mothner

To learn more about the services I offer click hereMy office is centrally located in Hermosa Beach, California and I provide therapy and counseling services for childrenteensadults and couples in Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beach, El Segundo, Torrance and all over the South Bay area. Please feel free to contact me!