Handling A Tough Breakup
Whatever the reason, sometimes relationships just don’t work out. Some breakups can be worse than others, but more often than not they trigger strong emotional reactions. If you or somebody you know is going through a breakup or has recently ended a relationship, the following provides some helpful tips about how to navigate a tough breakup.
1) Let yourself grieve, but establish boundaries
The termination of any kind of relationship for any reason is likely to be followed by a “grieving” period. It’s important to allow yourself to feel the full breadth of your emotions and to be compassionate with yourself. Know that even though your circumstances may be unique, you are not alone in this experience. As you process your emotions, it is critical to set boundaries. In order to effectively grieve it is essential to establish concrete distance from your ex. This means no looking at their social media and potentially no contact at all for a certain amount of time.
2) Reconnect socially
Choosing to focus on other relationships in your life, like your friends and family, can be a great way to both lean on and build up your social support system at this time. Be cautious of potential rebounds, but engaging in social activities can be a useful distraction, as well as a confidence booster. The key is to stick with supportive, emotionally helpful people and environments.
3) Cultivate your passions!
This is also a great time to start a new hobby or dedicate more time to an old and potentially underloved one. Think about the things you’ve always wanted to try or the things you just didn’t have time for during your last relationship. Fill your time with healthy outlets, like learning a fun new skill or expanding your goals in other areas of your life. Don’t necessarily throw yourself solely into work, as you may run the risk of overworking yourself and burnout. You have the chance to reevaluate what your passions are and how you can better incorporate them into your life.
4) Build up your self care routine
Having more time away from a relationship can mean more time to focus on yourself and amp up your self care routine. Prioritizing healthy behaviors, like sleep, exercise, good food and drink choices, can help you heal emotionally and make you feel better physically. This is also an opportunity to literally and figuratively clean up your space. Physically remove painful triggers like photographs or mementos from your home and workplace. Emotionally, you should check-in with yourself to see what is taking up the most space in your mind, leading us to our next step…
5) Reflect
Take the time to reflect on the relationship and how you are still feeling. Find a healthy outlet, like writing or talking to a professional, to assess what you may have learned and accept your new reality. Practicing mindfulness or meditating on a regular basis can make it feel more natural to consistently pay attention to your thoughts and identify “traps” of unhealthy thinking. Disrupting negative or consuming thoughts about an old situation is critical to your ability to move on. Choose to find time to exercise gratitude and give back.
6) Seek professional help
Finally, if you still feel you are truly struggling with any or all of these factors during your recovery process, then you should seek professional help. My staff therapists and I provide a wide variety of therapeutic services that can help address some of the challenges you face in your healing process. Seeking additional help can be highly beneficial by supplementing your existing support system and developing the tools you need to cope more effectively.
Contact Dr. Kelly Mothner today!
For potential clients in the Hermosa Beach and South Bay area, reach out today to hear how therapy can help you. Explore the website to learn more about Dr. Mothner’s background, areas of expertise, additional tips on the blog, and to request an appointment. Come see a reputable therapist at one of Hermosa Beach’s top psychology practices!