Many of us have looked back at some of our past decisions and wondered why, or wished we hadn’t acted in a certain way. Most likely those times that we look back on with regret we were not acting from the best in us, or put another way, we weren’t using our emotional intelligence. In my Hermosa Beach psychology practice, I have found that people often struggle in this domain. Those who do have a high emotional intelligence, or EQ, have a better understanding of emotions and typically have more positive interpersonal relationships. Even if sometimes you struggle to manage your own emotions or have difficulty accurately gauging the emotions of others, it does not mean that you are unable to achieve a higher EQ. It is very possible to learn how to respond using your emotional intelligence on your own, or through counseling. Below are the five major strategies to achieve a higher EQ:
Those with a high EQ have the ability to control their emotions better than most people. Regardless of the scenario, those with EQ have the ability to not immediately act on their raw feelings. Instead, they process their feelings and consider various solutions to positively fix a situation or problem. This ability to maintain self-control during times of high stress is a highly sought after trait in leaders.
Self-awareness is the ability to understand and recognize your own emotions. It’s being conscious of what things make you feel a certain way, and how they can affect your thoughts, behaviors, and decisions. Being self-aware enables individuals to have control over their own happiness and allows them the opportunity for growth.
When things get stressful, it’s hard not to immediately react in a negative way. It’s natural for people to get defensive and act out of fear. Although it’s common to react, people with a high EQ do the exact opposite in a high stress scenario. Rather than responding negatively to a negative situation, they have the ability to control their emotions and take a calm approach. They can process their emotions and respond in a positive way which may even offer a solution to the problem.
When we are empathetic with other people, it builds stronger relationships. Being empathetic is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes, and see how and why people feel the way they do. By being empathetic and considerate towards others it allows us to see how our own actions or behaviors may impact others. Learning to be empathetic gives us perspective, which will improve relationships, work, understanding yourself, and overall well-being.
Those with a high EQ will typically have strong social skills, and are typically the ones to reach out to another individual after an argument. Unlike most people, they are able to set their ego aside in order to save a relationship they care about. They also excel in many other social aspects, whether it is being humble, courteous, or well-spoken.
If you would like to improve your EQ, it is never too late. Whether it is through individual counseling sessions or family therapy, stop by your local Hermosa Beach therapist and take your EQ into your own hands. My practice has been recognized as one of the top Hermosa Beach psychology practices. I encourage you to contact us with any questions and schedule an appointment today!