The holidays, a special time marked by decorations, music, gifts and time spent with family and friends, ignites a spirit of joy in most of us. Yet, for many people, this time of the year can mean high stress and anxiety. Some people tend to envision the “perfect” holiday, which often leads to unrealistic expectations […]
With the hectic pace and demands of modern life, it is very common for people to feel stress. When you are under stress, you can feel tired and run down, unhappy, impatient and frustrated. There are several techniques available that involve learning how to control your body’s responses to stress or anxiety so that you […]
Teenage depression consists of more than just a teenager being in a bad mood or feeling melancholy. It is a very serious problem that negatively affects every aspect of a teen’s life. Teen depression can lead to drug and alcohol abuse, self-mutilation, violence and even suicide. Depression strikes teenagers more than most people think it […]
When you are feeling stress, you feel as though you’re under a great deal of mental or emotional pressure. All sorts of things in life can cause stress including work, personal relationships and financial problems. When stress takes over, it often leads to anxiety – which is an overwhelming feeling of worry, nervousness and uneasiness […]
Intimate relationships bring meaning and purpose to our lives, but they are not easy. When difficulties emerge within our relationship, we often want to take the “less painful” route, which means avoiding those issues we are too scared to confront about ourselves and our relationship. By doing so, however, we overlook the fact that by […]
Although some teenagers decide that they want to see a therapist on their own, more often than not, parents are the ones making this decision. Not surprisingly, parents often face a significant amount of resistance from their teen who may initially be opposed to the entire notion of therapy. Despite the fact that the stigma […]
Myth 1: The goal of couples therapy is to “fix” your partner.
Fact: Most couples come into therapy with the view that they are there because of some problem with their partner. By “fixing” their partner they imagine that all of their relationship problems will disappear. They are able to clearly see their partner’s contribution to their relationship problems, but remain unaware of their own. Their hope is that the couples therapist will focus on changing their partner, while they hold fast to not changing themselves. I approach couples therapy from an entirely different standpoint. The first step is to help each partner explore who they want to be and what they expect of themselves in their relationship, as opposed to focusing on how to get their partner to become the person they want them or need them to be. This means helping both partners develop the capacity to self-confront, self-validate, and self-soothe. By encouraging each partner to focus on the self they want to bring to their relationship, partners become more willing to face the challenges within their relationship constructively, as opposed to wasting their energy blaming the other person.